Guide 6 of 9
Avoid Common Mistakes
The most common ways students weaken a coffee chat, and how to avoid all of them.
Most mistakes happen when students misunderstand the purpose of the conversation. They treat it like a job interview, a shortcut to a referral, or an informal chat that requires no preparation. A coffee chat is none of those things.
Do Not Ask for a Job at the Beginning
The fastest way to make a coffee chat feel transactional is to begin by asking for a job or internship. Avoid opening with: “Are you hiring?” or “Can you help me get a job?”
Do Not Ask for a Referral Too Soon
Asking for a referral before any relationship or context exists puts pressure on the professional. If the conversation goes well and they offer to make an introduction, respond graciously — but do not begin with extraction.
Do Not Arrive Unprepared
A weak coffee chat begins with: “Can you tell me what your company does?” You should know enough to avoid asking questions that could be answered in thirty seconds online.
Do Not Use the Same Script With Everyone
Generic questions produce generic answers. Tailor your questions to each professional’s actual background.
Do Not Dominate the Conversation
Leave room for the professional to actually speak. You are there to learn from them, not to narrate your own story at length.
Do Not Treat the Professional as a Career Counsellor
They are offering their own experience and perspective, not a personalized career plan for you.
Do Not Ask for a Resume Review Unless It Was Agreed
Requesting this on the spot, without it being part of the original agreement, puts the professional in an awkward position.
Do Not Ask Questions That Are Too Personal or Inappropriate
Keep questions focused on professional experience, not personal or private matters.
Do Not Cancel Casually or Arrive Late
The professional has set aside real time for you. Treat that commitment with respect.
Do Not Assume the Relationship Continues Automatically
A professional relationship develops over time. It should not be forced after one conversation.
Key takeaway
Most coffee chat mistakes come from making the conversation too transactional, too generic, or too unprepared. A strong coffee chat begins with respect. It works best when your first goal is to learn.